From day one that was her attitude, and while I never got the full truth I'm sure the affair I caught her in was not the only one.įocus on you, be grateful for your daughters and what you do have, and visualize what going forward looks like. I never could help out around the house enough, could never deliver enough monetarily even though I made six figures as well, could never simply be enough for her. There's so many little things I won't enumerate here but over time I realized she was just keeping me jumping through hoops. I'm a happier person, and my wife was borderline abusive in such a manipulative way that I didn't even notice it. Two years later I'm loving my life, and after a ton of weekly therapy (highly recommend) ever since it's all silver lining. I'm glad I got out when I did, the person I married was merely wearing a disguise for who she really was, a horrible self-centered monster. It will get better, I'm two years out and still making strides as a person growing from this ordeal. The affair stings, but all the tickle truth and continuous acts of ill will make it much much worse. The betrayal just continues as if now they're caught, so might as well just live full on full tilt. In your shoes, my ex gaslighted the whole thing in much the same way. Although a big part of my life has been murdered by the one I loved the most. Just needed to vent, looking for some advice, some encouragement that things will get better. I know I need to focus on myself and my kids but it's hard. How can one live with a decisionlike this? We have to face this reality and rebuild our lives while Mom is living in fanatasy land. We never saw this coming and yet here it is. I am trying to be a strong father for my daughters, but there pain is unbearable as well and it keep drowning me as it kills me and drowns me to see them so devastated. All that is left is my mind and ghosts of our past everywhere I look.
There is no water running or the sound of laughter or footsteps moving through the house.
Our house is so empty now, there is no life when the girls are not there. Reading stories on here helps by knowing I am not alone, but I feel alone.
#Drowning in quicksand how to
The pain is unbearable, I just don t know how to cope. The first one is happening right now as I grieve the loss of my marriage and best friend. Where is the justice in this? I said this before. I am being punished for something I didn't do. How can a personn give up on her kids 50% of the time, more importantly how do I continue when my kids are my everything and I only see them 50% of the time. There is not a room in our home that doesn't say something about love and kindness. I miss my wife, I miss our life, we were best friends for 28 years. I can't stop hearing the vibration of her phone in my dreams. He would text her at 11, 12, 1 and 2am knowing full well she was laying besides me in bed. I am having nightmares on a regualr basis where all I hear is the sound of her phone going off in the middle of the night. I am stuck, I feel like I am drowning in quicksand. Why, why is it so hard for me to come to terms with this? She left me and our daughters on our 22nd wedding anniversary, what kind of person can be so cold and heartless? I have so many questions and no closure. And then there are all the lies and deflection and gaslighting. His name is in her phone under a females alias (just found out about that from our oldest daughter 15). In short, found 1,110 text messages to a "spiritual advisor" in 3 months time, found his address hidden in her phone under a ladies name, she changed all of her passwords on all devices and blamed our youngest daughter (12) for doing so, same day she took the time to type her "coworkers" address in her phone she turned off her GPS. I am having a really hard time the past few days coping with all of the lies and fallout of my wife's affair.
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